The other in a drama-writing workshop, we were asked to look back and think of a "crisis" or a turning point in our childhood that changed who we are today.
I thought... I scratched the A4 sheet with my pen... I turned those little lines into meaningless doodles. And all I discovered was a penchant for cartoon faces, leaves, lips and black-and-white alternating patterns!
I couldn't think of a SINGLE incident that stands out as changing who I am, making me what I am today. This is something that really disturbed me because everyone seems to have one incident--happy or sad--that changed their life. What does my not having one mean? Am I... shallow? Too complacent? Or worst of all--BORING?!
Not that I wish a childhood trauma upon myself, just so I have something to write about. But c'mon, how am I going to become a famous--and more importantly--RICH writer if I don't have that "something" that'll haunt me all my life, drive me first to writing, then to drinking, smoking, drugs, indiscriminate sex and finally to death! How will I face the literary world? How will I support myself (consults a previously mentioned list)--LEGALLY!
Sob... oh woe!
Ah, forget it. I'll just... traumatise myself now. Better late than never, eh? :D
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Now playing: KT Tunstall - Throw Me A Rope
via FoxyTunes
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
P | O | W | E | R
Those really sappy songs say that the world goes around on love--or words to that effect. Now, I have nothing against sappy songs but I really beg to differ. I think it's power that makes the world go 'round. Think about it... every human interaction is based on power. Starting from governments to your average boy-girl relationship, it's all based on power.
Every conflict clearly proves this, because if you dissect every conflict to the basics, it's about power. Think about everyone's favourite 'War Against Terrorism'. Even if it had simply been what it purported to be (which I very much doubt), it's about "You're killing of people everywhere" which leads to "You're killing off people in my country" which leads to "You're killing off people who voted for me and who are my supporters" which is basically talking about "ME ME ME". You're challenging my authority and power. So it's a basic You Vs. Me struggle.
Now, the above illustration maybe very obvious. So, different situation. Two girls get into a fight over a guy that they're both attracted to. They've never spoken to him, it's not love at first sight, but they're still quarreling over this guy cos they both want to ask him out or whatever. Notwithstanding the... silliness... of the situation, perhaps, it's still a power struggle. It's a I-deserve-better-than-you-cos-I-AM-better sort of thing.
And as for LOVE--which you might think is the end of this whole power theory--well, as for love, I think love is the final and ultimate power relationship. I refer again--really, not disparagingly--to sappy songs and poems. Love is not about caring and sharing and marriage and being together forever. Well, maybe on some levels, but it all leads to the same thing. Why do love someone? Usually because they love us. And if someone loves you, you have the power to hurt them. Hmm, do I see eye-rolling and you're-being-cynical looks? But think about it. If what you did to someone wouldn't affect them at all, they would be neutral--and that means they don't LOVE you. Forget hurting. How about making someone happy, even a little bit. Wouldn't you feel that a relationship with a friend/parent/spouse-figure/child/sibling's going nowhere if you could neither hurt them nor make them happy?
Let's also look at the so called "selfless" parent-child relationships. From the point of the view of the parent, it's the "this is my territory" thing again in a different level. From the point of view of the child, it's also the same thing.
What about unrequited love then? Some people go on loving someone even after rejection, heart break and plain despair. Why? I think they're saying, "Ok, reject me if you want but you can't stop me loving you. I have that bit of power in this--I can feel however I want to, you have no say about it." It's could also be a little bit of the martyred feeling that gives them a sort of high.
Are you horrified that a human being could be so cold about it? I'm sure there are millions of arguments against this stand of mine but I think there's a grain of truth in it. That's why human relationships seem meaningless at some point or the other. We all allow a little bit of the truth to shimmer through--that we're all, ALL selfish deep down.
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Now playing: Farhat Bouallagui - Desert Rose
via FoxyTunes
Every conflict clearly proves this, because if you dissect every conflict to the basics, it's about power. Think about everyone's favourite 'War Against Terrorism'. Even if it had simply been what it purported to be (which I very much doubt), it's about "You're killing of people everywhere" which leads to "You're killing off people in my country" which leads to "You're killing off people who voted for me and who are my supporters" which is basically talking about "ME ME ME". You're challenging my authority and power. So it's a basic You Vs. Me struggle.
Now, the above illustration maybe very obvious. So, different situation. Two girls get into a fight over a guy that they're both attracted to. They've never spoken to him, it's not love at first sight, but they're still quarreling over this guy cos they both want to ask him out or whatever. Notwithstanding the... silliness... of the situation, perhaps, it's still a power struggle. It's a I-deserve-better-than-you-cos-I-AM-better sort of thing.
And as for LOVE--which you might think is the end of this whole power theory--well, as for love, I think love is the final and ultimate power relationship. I refer again--really, not disparagingly--to sappy songs and poems. Love is not about caring and sharing and marriage and being together forever. Well, maybe on some levels, but it all leads to the same thing. Why do love someone? Usually because they love us. And if someone loves you, you have the power to hurt them. Hmm, do I see eye-rolling and you're-being-cynical looks? But think about it. If what you did to someone wouldn't affect them at all, they would be neutral--and that means they don't LOVE you. Forget hurting. How about making someone happy, even a little bit. Wouldn't you feel that a relationship with a friend/parent/spouse-figure/child/sibling's going nowhere if you could neither hurt them nor make them happy?
Let's also look at the so called "selfless" parent-child relationships. From the point of the view of the parent, it's the "this is my territory" thing again in a different level. From the point of view of the child, it's also the same thing.
What about unrequited love then? Some people go on loving someone even after rejection, heart break and plain despair. Why? I think they're saying, "Ok, reject me if you want but you can't stop me loving you. I have that bit of power in this--I can feel however I want to, you have no say about it." It's could also be a little bit of the martyred feeling that gives them a sort of high.
Are you horrified that a human being could be so cold about it? I'm sure there are millions of arguments against this stand of mine but I think there's a grain of truth in it. That's why human relationships seem meaningless at some point or the other. We all allow a little bit of the truth to shimmer through--that we're all, ALL selfish deep down.
----------------
Now playing: Farhat Bouallagui - Desert Rose
via FoxyTunes
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