I'm Alone...

Human existence is one of loneliness. We are forever surrounded by people--people who love us, people who hate us, or people who are just indifferent. Yet, at the end of the day, we are alone. By that, I don't mean being left alone, deserted to the cruel clutches of fate or anything so dramatic. I just mean that no matter how many people are around us, we are isolated in ourselves--limited by the body to never experience what anyone else has experience in quite the same way; and limited by our minds to never think exactly as anyone else thinks. We exist in a bubble that will only admit one body, one mind and one soul (if you believe in souls, that is!) and nothing can really penetrate this bubble.

In fact, I think that the whole of human society is built around this. Man wants to escape this sense of loneliness and one way to do so is to surround himself with other humans who again exist in bubbles. The same goes with the whole concept of love, marriage, commitment, etc. People just need to feel that there's someone who can remove them from that bubble and give them company. And so the whole concept of love and relationships of any kind becomes so important.

So everytime this feeling of oneness is threatened, man reacts in the most violent and primitive way possible. That's why religion and patriotism are such touchy subjects and turns ever the most rational minds absolutely unreasonable. The circle of humanity surrounding them--either in the form of people of the same religion or of the same country--is being threatened. And this circle is very important to keep away the sense of loneliness. So obviously, a primal fear triggers a primitive reaction.

This also explains the abundance of conflict in any society. Every human is isolated and no matter how sympathetic a person can be, no one can really escape the confines of their bubble and enter another person's bubble. So no one truly understands what anyone else is going through. And so people start quarreling.

At the end of the day, the undeniable fact remains that we are alone in everything we do. Does this seem to pessimistic and cynical? Well, I am pessimistic and cynical. Or maybe you just can't see what I see from your bubble!

Tra la la...hmm mm.... la la la LAAA!

Awesome weather! This, I feel, deserves a separate post.

It's been a looong time since chennai was overcast and cloudy like this. It's cool, with just the right temperature and humidity. It's put me in such a good mood that not even sounding like a weather forecast can stop me from humming!

Hope it pours. Maybe that's asking for too much, but hey, I can hope, can't I? Well anyway, enjoy the weather. It's too good to last long, I'm sure.

Hmmm mmm... la lala... tra la.

:D :D :D

Blog the Third

Well I've gone and done it this time.

Hmm. Only after I typed that out did I realise how that sounds. Anyway, too lazy to hit backspace now.

It's just that I've started another blog. My third blog... four if you count the git blog too. This one will be quite regularely updated I think. It has all my favourite lyrics. You can find out more for yourself. Go see now. Shoo.

Oops. Almost forgot the link. Here it is. (Clickety click!)

Like a bad penny...

I'm back! :D Yes, like the proverbial penny, I have managed to find my way back home without getting lost, much to the dismay of my sainted sister who loses her exclusive rights to the comp, the music and generally everything. Well, nothing lasts forever, as the cliche goes!

The trip to Kerala, needless to say, was great! I got to see some really beautiful places--backwaters, hills, lakes, china nets, etc etc. It was great, especially because I had a friend to yak with all the time.

And yes, my toddy dream did come true! You are now reading the blog of a veteran toddy drinker. Well, maybe that's overstating it a bit (but then, I always overstate things, what d'you expect?) I had a couple of glasses of toddy and it was fresh so not really alcoholic anyway. But yes, in my book, that's pretty good, thanks! I didn't get drunk or anything, I'm ashamed to say.

Unfortunately, I'm not in a very writey mood right now so really not going into any details.

Did I hear sighs of relief? Ha! You're not being let off that easily.

I'll be back.

I'll think.

I'll type.

You'll read.

I'll laugh. Mwahahahahahaha!

Goodbye, cruel world!

Er... well, not exactly.

But it's just that I'm going away for the summer!

Er... well, not exactly.

I'm going away for about 10 days to God's own country, and while I doubt both his existence and his non-existence, I'm sure any sensible God would create a pretty awesome place to call his own. What's more, I'm going with a friend so it ought to be even more fun! And, oh, the food! Yum!Sigh, will be back as fat as... something really fat (too lazy to think of a good similie).

This means no updates for a while. There there, don't cry! It'll be alright.

I'm sure I'll be missed. If anyone contradicts me on that statement, I'll be very very angry and we wouldn't want that, now, would we?

Anyway, buh-bye! Have fun and don't be naughty. :D

Semester's End

Today I wrote my last exam, finished my last working day for this acacdemic year. I'm sure this is when I should get all retrospective and start spouting great philosophy about life and all that, but all I can come up with is:

YAY!

That's just a reflexive reaction of course, to the end of the year. I'm sure I'll be bored brainless n start missing my friends before even a quarter of the summer is gone. Most of them are going to various exotic summer retreats, leaving me to fry in the Chennai summer heat :'( Waaah! Not fair!

To think about it, the year hasn't been such a trial that I feel relieved that the summer holidays are here.

Well, college was... not anything unexpected. Probably because I didn't really have any expectations. I've enjoyed my course... in a relative way, as compared to school. Lit hasn't been a disappointment though I think the more interesting papers are in the next four sems. I can't really say if I've learned anything new, though. Hmm.

As for other fun stuff. Well I've made some awesome friends, learned a lot of things about people in general and also about myself. That sounds kinda corny but it's true. I can claim confidently that I've learned a LOT, apart from academics. (I'm not going to share the little pearls of wisdom with the world. I'm greedy, gonna hoard them all.) I'll just say that it's been good. I've found some new friends, lost some old ones. I've met a lot of interesting people and best of all, I've discovered the joys of blogging! It's like a world of its own, all by itself.

So thanks people, for both putting up with me, reading and commenting on my blog and also for giving me so much to read about.

Guess this entry has turned out to be for all my fellow bloggers!

Weird...

Fave quotes...

Well, this is another bit of cheating but not out of desperation. I really wanted to put up my all time/current fave quotes. They're really mixed up--serious one mixed with the funny ones--but love 'em all! :D Haven't included poetry though. That would make it too long (it already is!) Well enough preamble...

A mirror
keeps me honest.
With your eyes I see me
doubting my sanity.

-Rini Mukkath

And did you exchange
A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage?
-Pink Floyd "Wish You Were Here"

We're just two lost souls, swimming in a fish bowl
-Pink Floyd "Wish You Were Here"

If blood will flow when flesh and steel are one
Drying in the colour of the evening sun
Tomorrow's rain will wash the stains away
But something in our minds will always stay
-Sting "Fragile"

But my God woke up
On the wrong side of his bed
And it just don't matter now
- Oasis "Little by Little"

Let them eat cake
-Queen Marie Antoinette (when told that the people had no bread)

By the time this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lota serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin'!
- Donkey from "Shrek"

Hold the phone.
-Shrek

I want my Miranda rights! You were supposed to say I have the right to remain silent! You didn't say I have the right to remain silent!

Donkey! You HAVE the right to remain silent! What you lack is the ability!

-From "Shrek 2"

The sky resembles a backlit canopy
With holes punched in it
- Incubus "I Wish You Were Here"

He who laughs, lasts
-Unknown

If I ever met myself, I'd hit myself so hard I won't know what's hit me.
-Zaphod Beeblebrox, HHGG

The Universe was created and a lot of people were unhappy.

For a moment, nothing happened. After a moment, nothing continued to happen.

-HHGG

When angry count four; when very angry, swear.
-Mark Twain

Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
-Mark Twain

I don't question YOUR existence.
-God

I am an agnostic pagan. I doubt the existence of many gods.
-Unknown

Do unto yourself what others would not do unto you. Enough said.
-http://meghalomania.com/

"Hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It's like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die."
- Native American Saying

"Together we can rule this world. All I need is your obedience and submission to my will!"
- Dr. Who

If you're parents never had children, the chances are you won't either
- Unknown

"Books are fatal: they are the curse of the human race. Nine-tenths of existing books are nonsense, and the clever books are the refutation of that nonsense. The greatest misfortune that ever befell man was the invention of printing."
-Benjamin Disraeli. (NOTE: Reading addict that I am, I don't necessarily agree with this. Thought that it maybe had a glimmer of truth in it.)

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take your breath away
- From "Hitch"

"It is only possible to succeed at second-rate pursuits -- like becoming a millionaire or a prime minister, winning a war, seducing a beautiful woman, flying through the stratosphere, or landing on the moon. First-rate pursuits -- involving, as they must, trying to understand what life is about and trying to convey that understanding -- inevitably result in a sense of failure. A Napoleon, a Churchill, a Roosevelt can feel themselves to be successful, but never a Socrates, a Pascal, a Blake. Understanding is forever unattainable. Therein lies the inevitability of failure in embarking upon its quest, which is nonetheless the only one worthy of serious attention."
Malcolm Muggeridge, 1965

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months
- Oscar Wilde

Kill 1-20 and you're a Murderer
Kill 30 - 1000 and you're a Terrorist
Kill 10.000 - 20 million and you're a Conqueror/Dictator
Kill everyone and you're God

"Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing." - Oscar Wilde

"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." - Einstein.

Farnsworth: These are the dark matter engines I invented. They allow my starship to travel between galaxies in mere hours.
Cubert: That's impossible. You can't go faster than the speed of light.
Farnsworth: Of course not. That's why scientists increased the speed of light in 2208.
- Futurama.

On a universal scale our little corner of creation is a mere dimple on a pimple on a sand flea's nut, insignificant.
-PsychoticEpisode, Sciforums.com

HEHEHEHEHEHE!

HAHAHAHA!

Ahem... For those of you who were frightened by the insane sound of laughter, I apologise. For those of you who were only mildly surprises/leaning towards irritation, well... Sorry again. That wasn't me laughing. Or rather, not the usual me. Now listen closely. Hear that mad laugh again? See! That wasn't me! I'm innocent.

That was this boring, uptight, librarian-types person in me. I call her Ms. Perfect. Not that she's perfect or anything. She just likes perfection. She likes to see everything in perfect order. And for this reason, she absolutely detests me! Why, you ask? Well, picture this scene. She's humming away to herself, thinking about life and how things are so--well--perfect. Then, I walk into my room and she starts screaming! She says, look at that mess! Pick up those clothes! Arrange those books! Cover the computer! Put away those cd's! Put all those loose scarps of paper in the dustbin. Speaking of which, eeks! Empty your dustbin for pete's--or anyone else's--sake! Now this is all pretty uncomfortable for me, especially since, if you remember, she's saying this a few hundred decibels higher than normal speech. Shrieking, basically. And in my head, to boot! Actually, I don't get what all the screaming is about. She sees the same mess everyday. It's not like it's surprising or anything!

Anyway, me, I don't bother with her rants and raves. I lie down, pick up a book, blast some music (which also drowns out her voice). It's not easy living with her. She has a similar fit every time she sees my bag, which has some very interesting things in it. Well, not so interesting, come to think of it. What I mean is that, my bag usually contains, besides books, pens, and other college-related paraphrenelia, some very interesting answer papers, in terms of irrelevant-crapping creativity. However, these remarkable pieces of illiterature are soon beaten to pulp and lie at the bottom of my bag, doomed to eternal indecipherability. Well, whatever it is, they basically give this woman--Ms Perfect--the creeps.

And let me not even get started on how she reacts when she sees my stalwart charger, best friend and general means of transportation, my bike. (Well, to be precise, it's a scooter but then--shoo! Sorry, that was Ms Perfect taking over for a moment. :D ) Well, where was I? Oh yes, my BIKE, covered in dust, water stains and blessings from my dear avian friends who surround my dwelling place. Well, even I admit it's not a pretty sight and I'm too darned lazy to wash it!

All right, I see now that in my usual scatter-brained way, I have meandered and wandered far from my original sentence. Which was--reading back and counting the number of ha's--HAHAHAHA!

Yes, that was Ms Perfect, for once sounding merry... well, more like insane actually. But before I digress even furthur, I'll tell you why. She's happy. And why? Because she just woke up and saw my blog (a little frown and a "hmph" of irritation from her at the way I began the sentence--the whole because because is a conjunction bit, but who cares?) Well anyway, she saw how I'd beautifully organised my links and all that. I mean, separated my general favourites from the more literary kinda stuff. And, gasp! Arranged the links in alphabetical order instead of the usual haphazard first-come last-appearance order. Yes, she's happy today.

OH! Heaven save me! Now she's getting vague notions about getting me to clean my room, clear my bag, wash my bike and organise my computer! What have I done?!

NOTE: No, I do not suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder. No, I am not ashamed of being a slob--too lazy for that. And no! I did not write the post dots and dashes--it was her, I tell you, her!

Idle Thoughts Vol. II

Some random thoughts that seemed to be fighting to get out of my head. What better way than to put them down in my blog?

The blank page can be pretty intimidating. Sometimes, I just sit with a blank page in my hand and keep staring, willing my mind to stop wandering and focus on forming thoughts, words, sentences that make sense.

Sometimes there are people screaming in my head. They seem to be trying to get my attention. I start suspecting that I'm going mad, then realise with a jolt that the voices aren't in my head but people around me. And yes, they are trying to get my non-existent attention.

Relationships are funny. Sometimes you try not to say something that you know the other person wouldn't like to hear, skirt around any such subject and end up saying the thing that would irritate that person most, thinking it's the best thing to say. And in the end, you realise that the thing you were avoiding was what the person wanted to hear most.

Life is all about conflict. We are always in conflict with something or the other. Starting from nature, to the government, authority, enemies, rivals and friends, it is impossible to find someone who doesn't face conflict. If anyone manages to avoid these things, by some miracle, they will most probably find themselves in conflict with themselves.

When I don't sleep well some times, I hear voices and arguments in my head the whole of the next day. Is this because I'm mad--a distinct possibily--or is it just half-forgotten dialogues from movies and books that my mind remembers due to some subconscious crap? I think this is possible to because last time the whole Marvin and the Mattress scene from somewhere in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy ran through my head. The matress even flooped and all that.

Weird... But hey! Dain bramaged... That's me!

Carpe Diem

I just realised something. A grand revelation, if you will. An ephiphanic one, even. No, I havent found the answer to the meaning of life, the universe and the mystery of the little green men under my table. And sorry, no medical miracles. It's pretty simple: seize the day!

I've always been the cautious kind... for longer than I can remember. I always think things through meticulously before doing anything. Instinct and spontaneity totally lose out to my left brain. While this may sound like a good thing to some people, what it essentially means is... I'm boring.

Then I realised something. Yes, that was the grand revelation, the epi--well, you get the idea. Life is pretty short, cliches aside. In fact, we're born astride the grave as someone (Brecht, I think, any ideas?) said. The whole of life is how we fill up that gap between birth and death. At the end of it all, wouldn't anyone want to fill that gap in a fun, interesting way?

To me that would be learning to let go of caution for once and just take a wild jump off a cliff, hoping it wouldn't be such a steep fall after all. Once in a while, it's good to just let go and see what life throws at you. You might be concentrating so much on avoiding the pitfalls that you might also miss the perks! Aren't great oportunities for fun and happiness worth a few bruises and scrapes?

This doesn't mean abandoning all sense of self-preservation, of course. One would still want to look out for those serious problems that are so easy to find. But for now, just grab life with both hands and take control! Who knows, it might bring something totally unexpected and wonderful! And if it doesn't, you could look back and say that at least you had the courage to try rather than sit and wait in safety and never discover if the thing you waited for even existed. Seize the day! :D