Insomnia

Thoughts claw at the mind, filling the brain to the point of bursting. Raw emotions flicker behind my heavy, sleep-deprived eyelids, forcing my mind from its stupor into a tired restlessness. Though the last ray of has light long since disappeared, the scorching red rays of fears and resurfacing nightmares pulse in my mind's eye as sleep eludes me.

I try counting sheep, but all I can think of are the comical sheep that jump fences from some long-forgotten cartoon. Yet the memory fails to elicit the slightest smile from me. I've lost count of the number of times I've tossed and turned. I take a deep breath, force my eyes closed and try to the think of nothing, to imagine me floating, light as a feather, in eternal nothingness. The guy in the book could do it so effortlessly. Hmm. Never finished that series--when is the next boo--? And, just like that, my eyes are wide open again, staring into the darkness.

The silence deafens me. The power failure silences the ac, the fan and the house is unnaturally quiet. The silence seems to press against my ears--so much so that if I let it last long enough, it seems to go 'ping' in my ear.

Light from outside make weird patterns on my walls. My imagination needs little prompting to spin wild images of unspeakable things from these patterns. The curtains flutter from a slight warm breeze. I force my eyes shut again and lie on my stomach--uncomfortably, as the heat makes the mattress stick to me. I mutter and wonder if the night will never end.

I throw pillows on the ground in frustration, then throw myself down too. The cool marble floor welcomes me like a swimmign pool, enveloping the body after a long hard day of work. I sigh... And slip into that blessed land of sleep.
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After typing this out and re-reading it, I feel strangely compelled to justify putting this up on the blog. So bear with me...

I know exactly what brought this on--one sleepless night, duh. I got up and took a piece of paper and started writing this down. Not as brilliant as some other midnight brainwaves, I'm sure! But whatever, just had to put it up for some odd reason. This will probably embarass me sometime in the future, but hey! I don't really like the future me. So ha! She deserves it! ;)

Oh, and do be kind in your comments.

On second thought, spare the kindness. More interesting that way!

Errr... Ummm...

Ok, this is a link ripped off vbk's blog, which says it was ripped off antickpix's blog and so on.

Sheesh! Does this mean no more toddy? Waaaaaah! No fair!

You're Love in the Time of Cholera!

by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Like Odysseus in a work of Homer, you demonstrate undying loyalty by
sleeping with as many people as you possibly can. But in your heart you never give
consent! This creates a strange quandary of what love really means to you. On the
one hand, you've loved the same person your whole life, but on the other, your actions
barely speak to this fact. Whatever you do, stick to bottled water. The other stuff
could get you killed.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

I'm Alone...

Human existence is one of loneliness. We are forever surrounded by people--people who love us, people who hate us, or people who are just indifferent. Yet, at the end of the day, we are alone. By that, I don't mean being left alone, deserted to the cruel clutches of fate or anything so dramatic. I just mean that no matter how many people are around us, we are isolated in ourselves--limited by the body to never experience what anyone else has experience in quite the same way; and limited by our minds to never think exactly as anyone else thinks. We exist in a bubble that will only admit one body, one mind and one soul (if you believe in souls, that is!) and nothing can really penetrate this bubble.

In fact, I think that the whole of human society is built around this. Man wants to escape this sense of loneliness and one way to do so is to surround himself with other humans who again exist in bubbles. The same goes with the whole concept of love, marriage, commitment, etc. People just need to feel that there's someone who can remove them from that bubble and give them company. And so the whole concept of love and relationships of any kind becomes so important.

So everytime this feeling of oneness is threatened, man reacts in the most violent and primitive way possible. That's why religion and patriotism are such touchy subjects and turns ever the most rational minds absolutely unreasonable. The circle of humanity surrounding them--either in the form of people of the same religion or of the same country--is being threatened. And this circle is very important to keep away the sense of loneliness. So obviously, a primal fear triggers a primitive reaction.

This also explains the abundance of conflict in any society. Every human is isolated and no matter how sympathetic a person can be, no one can really escape the confines of their bubble and enter another person's bubble. So no one truly understands what anyone else is going through. And so people start quarreling.

At the end of the day, the undeniable fact remains that we are alone in everything we do. Does this seem to pessimistic and cynical? Well, I am pessimistic and cynical. Or maybe you just can't see what I see from your bubble!

Tra la la...hmm mm.... la la la LAAA!

Awesome weather! This, I feel, deserves a separate post.

It's been a looong time since chennai was overcast and cloudy like this. It's cool, with just the right temperature and humidity. It's put me in such a good mood that not even sounding like a weather forecast can stop me from humming!

Hope it pours. Maybe that's asking for too much, but hey, I can hope, can't I? Well anyway, enjoy the weather. It's too good to last long, I'm sure.

Hmmm mmm... la lala... tra la.

:D :D :D

Blog the Third

Well I've gone and done it this time.

Hmm. Only after I typed that out did I realise how that sounds. Anyway, too lazy to hit backspace now.

It's just that I've started another blog. My third blog... four if you count the git blog too. This one will be quite regularely updated I think. It has all my favourite lyrics. You can find out more for yourself. Go see now. Shoo.

Oops. Almost forgot the link. Here it is. (Clickety click!)

Like a bad penny...

I'm back! :D Yes, like the proverbial penny, I have managed to find my way back home without getting lost, much to the dismay of my sainted sister who loses her exclusive rights to the comp, the music and generally everything. Well, nothing lasts forever, as the cliche goes!

The trip to Kerala, needless to say, was great! I got to see some really beautiful places--backwaters, hills, lakes, china nets, etc etc. It was great, especially because I had a friend to yak with all the time.

And yes, my toddy dream did come true! You are now reading the blog of a veteran toddy drinker. Well, maybe that's overstating it a bit (but then, I always overstate things, what d'you expect?) I had a couple of glasses of toddy and it was fresh so not really alcoholic anyway. But yes, in my book, that's pretty good, thanks! I didn't get drunk or anything, I'm ashamed to say.

Unfortunately, I'm not in a very writey mood right now so really not going into any details.

Did I hear sighs of relief? Ha! You're not being let off that easily.

I'll be back.

I'll think.

I'll type.

You'll read.

I'll laugh. Mwahahahahahaha!