'appy nooo earrr!

No, I'm not drunk. But have a nice one anyway.

2008, compared to the average year, may be described as humongously crappy. From Jan to December, June to... well, December. A few nice things happened of course. I became a graduate. I got into... well... a pretty cool institute for my M.A. (big grin). I've met some VERY nice people who I hope will remain in my life till--oh, ok, I won't be greedy, just till I'm 120 or so. But despite all this, I'm saying goodbye to the year with great relief and hoping I don't have to live through one like it for--again, being very restrained, 100-odd years.

I'm really tempted to write something philosophical about how life goes in unexpected ways but enough already!

Have a ball!

(Or a bat... Or even a hockey puck for that matter.)

Homecoming...

Home coming is sweet, with bittersweet tinges to add to the interesting experience that it is. When home is a whole city, your joys multiply till you are overwhelmed. You can breathe in and wallow in all that is familiar, those things that were so easy to take for granted but are now so precious. The curl of your mother's hair, your sister's silent creeping-out-of-bed early in the morning so as not to wake you. The silence of the night, comfortable and unchanged since when you were thirteen. The feel of the floor, hard and reassuring, beneath your back. The sofas that echo with the assurance of a hundred memories. The tiny bathroom that remembers the yowls that you called singing, your conversations with the taps, your tears that the shower couldn't drown, your secret phone calls.

Of course, the little bittersweet tinges are there to make sure the sweetness doesn't become nauseating. Those people you miss, whom some part of your illogically expects to find, just aren't there. The little changes that you hardly notice in the beginning make you realise that home is not the static place in your head but is changing, has move on beyond the day you left. That roll-top desk has moved into your room. Your childhood dolls smile down at you from the shelf where they're newly on display. That particular road has a few extra ruts and a whole flyover looms in that familiar horizon.  And you must relearn home, rediscover it so that it's exactly what it was to you: completely familiar.

And then you must leave again.

Random Experiences...

Moving to a new city, starting a whole new kind of life, etc., often causes the profoundest, most moving thoughts and experiences. You look back your old life, amazed at the new experiences open to you... you look with wonder at the suddenly wide horizon even as your heart swells with...

Haha, excuse me a minute. I'm laughing too hard to keep that up. Lemme tell you some of the things I've learned, said, thought and wondered about since moving into JNU:

--On the first day, after class, I went to the warden's house where I'd left my luggage, to move into the hostel. Oh, hi doggie. Er... didn't notice you there... Aw, you're a cutie pie, aren't you? Coochie coochie... Hmm your tail isn't wagging. Oh...kay... I'll just ring this bell here and wait for the warden to open the doo--oops! Ok, ok, calm down, no need to stand right next to me and bark at me. Er... nice doggie? Ok... not so nice doggie... Ok, STOP! HAAALP!

At the end of this internal monologue, the warden's son comes and opens the door. He's gaping at me and goes "You just came in? And the dog didn't DO anything to you?" I'm shaken, and feeling all alone, scared in the I-want-my-mommy way and all I can do is chuckle nervously and say, "Er, no... As you can see by the lack of missing chunks of flesh on my legs, he didn't, in fact, take a bite out of me, as he wanted to. And you seem shocked and even... disappointed?... that he didn't."

Ok, I'll admit I stopped at "Er, no," but I swear I wanted to say the rest. And he keeps asking the same question every few minutes. And no, in case your interested, he wasn't cute enough to make such a question more palatable. But he'd just had some kinda minor operation so I couldn't pound on him either. sigh. Moving on...

--Hmm ok... Can't I just give in my own, decent looking passport-sized photo for a buss-pass? All right, fine then. I'll just sit here on this dirty chair and smile at the weird looking web cam... Ah, it's done... Ok, I can wait, it's just a buss pass. La la la la... Hmm hmm hmm... Tralala--AAAARGH! No! That monster in the photo can't be me... Nooooooooooooooooo....

But, as in most of the difficult and life-changing experiences we go through, I had to accept that it was, indeed, me, and now I'm stuck with this wonderful little thing that's going to take me all over Delhi. And NO, I'M NOT SCANNING IT AND PUTTING IT UP HERE SO YOU CAN POINT AND LAUGH!

--Ah, lunch! I could dig into some roti-and-subzi, some dhaal-and-chaval now! Ah, bring it on... Now, what is that thing? Hmmm... Looks familiar! Why, it looks like a--COCKROACH!!

Suddenly, I wasn't so hungry any more...

--Ah, after a long and difficult day of walking about, it's good to kick back and relax alone in my lovely, dark, quiet room. Zzzzz... huh? wha--? Where's that barking coming from? Ooooh-kaaaay...

Sigh. Yes. I had, indeed, been alotted the room just above the warden's house and ole fluffy, my fuzzy, furry, furious feline friend was going to be my constant companion if not in full physical form, at least in voice. (Yes, yes, I know dogs are canine, not feline. But I had a nice "f" alliteration going there [You could even say I was "effing" hehe]. Plus, you know dogs hate cats and this was my sneaky, insulting, degrading revenge on ole Fluffy. Yes, I'm really that pathetic.) Perhaps I could hang outside the balcony on moonlit nights and go "Fluffy, fluffy, wherefore art thou so un-Fluffy?" (For the record, his name's really not Fluffy. That's just my pet-name for him, after his cheerful disposition [Haha, "pet"name, get it? He's a pet so... Ok, you get it.])

Ah, more adventures later. A whole lot to say about clothes turning moldy while waiting for me to wash them, walking about in a campus bigger than a small British colony and getting utterly lost, etc. What fun.

Fun Things (and Not-so-fun things) I've Learned In Recent Times

So yes, the summer has been upon us for a couple of months and, unfortunately, as summers tend to be, I have started LEARNING things. Sigh. An unfortunate side-effect of being utterly vetti I guess. It's most disappointing. I never went about arbitrarily LEARNING things when I was in college! Why should I now, when the days should be spent in decadent wastefulness? Sigh again. Anyway, here are these great lessons:

- Celebrity Crushes Are Fun!
Beside the garden variety everyday crush, which is often painful and almost always embarrassing, there is the Special Realm of the Celebrity Crush (hmm, what's with the capitals, you ask? No idea!) Now, the thing about the CC is the ridiculous ease of accessibility to the object of your interest/affection/desire/lust (ha!). One google search for certain strangely attractive cricketers and there are about a million pictures to go ga-ga over. One foray of television channels and there's Hrithik Roshan, bulging muscles, yummy eyes, cute extra digit et al! Now, a few heart aches could be caused by little factors such as... "Oh no, (dramatic hand-to-forehead) Christian Bale is married!" or "Damn that Deepika Padkone, trying to steal my guy!" or "Ah, if only my lowe wasn't straight..." But overall, your friends tease you and you grin along, safe in the knowledge that you'll never get caught in THAT trap, at least!

- It's Possible to Do a Lot of Nothing
Now this might sound like something Garfield would make up, but it's true! You can pretend to read... while doing nothing. You can pretend to watch television... while doing nothing. You can pretend to be online, doing important things... while doing nothing. Well, you get the drift! It's a glorious feeling when you look back at a long day of doing nothing. In fact, I plan to write a book about it, Doing and Nothingness. I'm sure it'll be more popular and... "experienceable" than Sartre's similar ramblings.

- The Sad Truth about People
It's a sad truth that people have an endless capacity to deceive themselves. Some (no links here, sorry :P) would even sink into melodrama and self-pity rather than admit that they might have done something wrong or work at a compromise. Ah, well, it takes all sorts of nuts to make a fruitcake.

- The Happy Truth About People
You know there's always another side to the grass but both the less green and the greener sides can be on your own lawn! Ok, ok, I'll stop talking in metaphors before you throw something at me. It's just that the happy truth about people is that PEOPLE CAN BE WONDERFUL! Sure, we're all full of faults and no way is anybody perfect but still, there are people who will understand you and respect you for what you are and bother to stick with you even when you're being a total loser or completely lame :D That's what makes the fruitcake sweet, after all! (Ok, I promise, no more cliched metaphors!)

- Being a Girl is Fun
Yes, yes, we all know it's a hard world to be a woman in. Men constantly come up with trivial complaints about how difficult life is for men but it's obviously just men being men. It's often the case that women wish they were men but at the end of the day, I realise it's fun to be a girl! I mean, womes are so comfy in fun sleepovers where previously mentioned objects of interest/affection/desire/lust are drooled over, fashion, world affairs and everything else are discussed, clothes and weird hairstyles are tried out, crazy pictures are taken and hysterical laughter goes on for several minutes over nothing. Now, not being a man, I can't imagine what male sleepovers (sorry, is that an oxymoron? Let's call it something more MANLY... Hmm, ok BOOZE PARTY!) are like but I doubt there's any of the emotional sharing that women do. Wow, I'm being so sexist. It rocks! :D So yeah, go, girlpower!

- Coo-coo-cooking!
Ah yes, I have leanred rudimentary skills at the kitchen. Never thought the day would come when the old family joke about me having to marry a chef could be shelved. Well, I still wouldn't go THAT far but I've learned some basics. Such as how to make scrambled eggs (ahem, the broken eggs and the weird smell in the kitchen will NOT be mentioned, atomic!) and chapati and dosa and rava idli! So yes, I might survive on my own, provided there are convenient Spencer's Dailies in every corner to buy bread, idli/dosa mav and eggs from. Hehe.

Oh, there's more but all this writing really is getting in the way of my "doing nothing" campaign. So it's bye-bye for now :)

Should I Be Worried?

The other in a drama-writing workshop, we were asked to look back and think of a "crisis" or a turning point in our childhood that changed who we are today.

I thought... I scratched the A4 sheet with my pen... I turned those little lines into meaningless doodles. And all I discovered was a penchant for cartoon faces, leaves, lips and black-and-white alternating patterns!

I couldn't think of a SINGLE incident that stands out as changing who I am, making me what I am today. This is something that really disturbed me because everyone seems to have one incident--happy or sad--that changed their life. What does my not having one mean? Am I... shallow? Too complacent? Or worst of all--BORING?!

Not that I wish a childhood trauma upon myself, just so I have something to write about. But c'mon, how am I going to become a famous--and more importantly--RICH writer if I don't have that "something" that'll haunt me all my life, drive me first to writing, then to drinking, smoking, drugs, indiscriminate sex and finally to death! How will I face the literary world? How will I support myself (consults a previously mentioned list)--LEGALLY!

Sob... oh woe!

Ah, forget it. I'll just... traumatise myself now. Better late than never, eh? :D

----------------
Now playing: KT Tunstall - Throw Me A Rope
via FoxyTunes

Honestly!

How important is honesty, really?

I don't mean the not-lying-to-your-friends type of honesty. It's not even really a moral question. I mean honesty to yourself. I've always thought it was essential. But lying to yourself is such a comfort. Sometimes you need to have certain illusions about certain people and situations in order to be happy. You might know it deep inside that what you think--either negative or positive--is not really true. But we bury this knowledge sometimes in order to love or hate a person in peace. So if the thought slides to the surface, is it ok to push it away? Is it ok to lie to yourself?

Or am I gonna wake up one day and realise that a whole set of my beliefs are--or maybe even I am--actually no more substantial than a breeze?

Yelagiri

Here are some pics I took on a recent weekend trip to Yelagiri. The place is damn beautiful. Not (yet) a hot vacation getaway so it's quite fresh.

Will shut up now and let the photos do the talking

Tête à Tête...

Looming Skies...

The Path...

(Pic by Vaish ^)

The Half-hidden Gate...

Duckies!

(Pic by Vaish ^)

View from Heaven...

Morning Smiles...

Dawn

Checking out the view...

(Pic by Priti ^)

Can't have too many sunrises!

Reflections...

Waking up to this view

That's some caffeine addiction!

Highway overload!

Speeding home...

The sun sets...

Well, here it is!

... My penny's... er, paisa's... worth. Since my fellow interns (try all three words) have all spoken about this rather grim(ey) month (grim for me at least ;) [nah, not really]), I guess this is my cue!

Hm so well I really won't go into details. Trust me, they're really boring (even to me!) especially cos it was (gasp!) an educational experience. As a result of this, I have:

...become more confident about bus travel

...seen more of the city than I ever thought i would

...realised what exactly dust, heat, unfamiliar company (til they became familiar, that is!) and an untterly amazingly charmless part of the city can do to your morale! (hey, did i say city? wow, so ambattur is actually PART of the city. Hehe. please ignore the cattiness!)

...started to acknowledge the number pad on the right corner of the keyboard does, in fact, exist! (long story cut short: a weird MS-DOS-based word processor, unlearning all Word techniques and several VERY frustrating hours of actually getting work done!)

...learned that hunger can actually make all swill taste like amritam

...realised that friends of the same wavelength (aka Ames, Bentley and Pyne) are absolute TREASURES!

...Discovered that journalism, thank you very much, is definitely off the "Maybe This Can Be A Viable Career Option When I'm Desperate For Money and Independence" list. (Becoming a world-famous writer, robbing a bank and kidnapping bill gates for a large ransom are still on, you'll be pleased to know)

...learned all about the properties, whims, extremely cooling nature of SWEAT and how it's really not God's premature revenge on an agnostic.

...shed some kilos (sob!)

...learned that there is a light side to everything... especially dust, which is so light that a tiny little baby breeze can make it rise and settle... on people!

... discovered my skills at creating truly terrible ambattur parody songs (will spring those on the unwary later... *evil look*)

...felt relieved that my social skills are still just hovering at the zero level.

...realized WATER EEEES GOOOOOOOOOOOD!

More later then...

R.I.P.

It just struck me that it's been more than a year since I started blogging. This led me to wonder if I've wasted a lot of web space and my time on this blog. What have I gained?

When I started, there were very few people I knew who blogged and the comments were few. But I kept blogging simply for the enjoyment if it and also because it was good practice for writing. Sure, I got a comment now and then and definitely got some irritating spam. But later, I roped a couple of my friends into blogging and somehow just found other Indian bloggers... and there were many more comments. So much so, I once had more than 30 comments for a two-line entry!

Blogging then began to seem to have a real community for itself, one with it's own rules and etiquette: comment regularly, not just when you have a new entry up and so want to attract notice; be appreciative and put negative criticism nicely so as to not hurt fragile egos; if not, have the courage to say what you want without going anonymous--most bloggers detest anons!; or just don't comment at all!; and, above all, to remember that what goes around, comes around, especially in such a small community.

But somehow, after a year of spacefillers, thoughts, jokes, comments and template changing, I got bored with blogging and eventually stopped. I've made some friends through blogging so I guess that's one good thing. I don't really care if my words are going to be immortalised by this blog or something equally dramatic. The blog has served it's purpose.

And now I guess it has died a natural death at the ripe old age of one. I might revisit with a couple of "ghost" entries, but I pronounce this blog officially dead. The pawprints are left behind in the sands of time :)

Before I sign off, I'd like to say, thanks for reading, commenting, all the support and enthusiasm.

From comp crashes to crashes. Bytes to bytes.

Rest In Peace.

Why, oh why?

You're a Hyena!

You have quite a sense of humor, though many others find it derisive
rather than appealing. You are perceived as being a coward, but actually have moments
of great bravery and have even stood up to those much larger than yourself. You like
hanging out in groups and are always making a lot of noise. Disney thinks you are an
idiot.


Take the Animal Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Blah.

Your face
A reflection
On the mirror of memories
Splashed with time's waters
Blurred, distant, fading.
The drops remain
Drying slowly
And then they are gone too.

Fitting in...

I can't. Have never.

Can you? Have you?

Insomnia

Thoughts claw at the mind, filling the brain to the point of bursting. Raw emotions flicker behind my heavy, sleep-deprived eyelids, forcing my mind from its stupor into a tired restlessness. Though the last ray of has light long since disappeared, the scorching red rays of fears and resurfacing nightmares pulse in my mind's eye as sleep eludes me.

I try counting sheep, but all I can think of are the comical sheep that jump fences from some long-forgotten cartoon. Yet the memory fails to elicit the slightest smile from me. I've lost count of the number of times I've tossed and turned. I take a deep breath, force my eyes closed and try to the think of nothing, to imagine me floating, light as a feather, in eternal nothingness. The guy in the book could do it so effortlessly. Hmm. Never finished that series--when is the next boo--? And, just like that, my eyes are wide open again, staring into the darkness.

The silence deafens me. The power failure silences the ac, the fan and the house is unnaturally quiet. The silence seems to press against my ears--so much so that if I let it last long enough, it seems to go 'ping' in my ear.

Light from outside make weird patterns on my walls. My imagination needs little prompting to spin wild images of unspeakable things from these patterns. The curtains flutter from a slight warm breeze. I force my eyes shut again and lie on my stomach--uncomfortably, as the heat makes the mattress stick to me. I mutter and wonder if the night will never end.

I throw pillows on the ground in frustration, then throw myself down too. The cool marble floor welcomes me like a swimmign pool, enveloping the body after a long hard day of work. I sigh... And slip into that blessed land of sleep.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After typing this out and re-reading it, I feel strangely compelled to justify putting this up on the blog. So bear with me...

I know exactly what brought this on--one sleepless night, duh. I got up and took a piece of paper and started writing this down. Not as brilliant as some other midnight brainwaves, I'm sure! But whatever, just had to put it up for some odd reason. This will probably embarass me sometime in the future, but hey! I don't really like the future me. So ha! She deserves it! ;)

Oh, and do be kind in your comments.

On second thought, spare the kindness. More interesting that way!

Errr... Ummm...

Ok, this is a link ripped off vbk's blog, which says it was ripped off antickpix's blog and so on.

Sheesh! Does this mean no more toddy? Waaaaaah! No fair!

You're Love in the Time of Cholera!

by Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Like Odysseus in a work of Homer, you demonstrate undying loyalty by
sleeping with as many people as you possibly can. But in your heart you never give
consent! This creates a strange quandary of what love really means to you. On the
one hand, you've loved the same person your whole life, but on the other, your actions
barely speak to this fact. Whatever you do, stick to bottled water. The other stuff
could get you killed.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Tra la la...hmm mm.... la la la LAAA!

Awesome weather! This, I feel, deserves a separate post.

It's been a looong time since chennai was overcast and cloudy like this. It's cool, with just the right temperature and humidity. It's put me in such a good mood that not even sounding like a weather forecast can stop me from humming!

Hope it pours. Maybe that's asking for too much, but hey, I can hope, can't I? Well anyway, enjoy the weather. It's too good to last long, I'm sure.

Hmmm mmm... la lala... tra la.

:D :D :D

Like a bad penny...

I'm back! :D Yes, like the proverbial penny, I have managed to find my way back home without getting lost, much to the dismay of my sainted sister who loses her exclusive rights to the comp, the music and generally everything. Well, nothing lasts forever, as the cliche goes!

The trip to Kerala, needless to say, was great! I got to see some really beautiful places--backwaters, hills, lakes, china nets, etc etc. It was great, especially because I had a friend to yak with all the time.

And yes, my toddy dream did come true! You are now reading the blog of a veteran toddy drinker. Well, maybe that's overstating it a bit (but then, I always overstate things, what d'you expect?) I had a couple of glasses of toddy and it was fresh so not really alcoholic anyway. But yes, in my book, that's pretty good, thanks! I didn't get drunk or anything, I'm ashamed to say.

Unfortunately, I'm not in a very writey mood right now so really not going into any details.

Did I hear sighs of relief? Ha! You're not being let off that easily.

I'll be back.

I'll think.

I'll type.

You'll read.

I'll laugh. Mwahahahahahaha!

Goodbye, cruel world!

Er... well, not exactly.

But it's just that I'm going away for the summer!

Er... well, not exactly.

I'm going away for about 10 days to God's own country, and while I doubt both his existence and his non-existence, I'm sure any sensible God would create a pretty awesome place to call his own. What's more, I'm going with a friend so it ought to be even more fun! And, oh, the food! Yum!Sigh, will be back as fat as... something really fat (too lazy to think of a good similie).

This means no updates for a while. There there, don't cry! It'll be alright.

I'm sure I'll be missed. If anyone contradicts me on that statement, I'll be very very angry and we wouldn't want that, now, would we?

Anyway, buh-bye! Have fun and don't be naughty. :D

Semester's End

Today I wrote my last exam, finished my last working day for this acacdemic year. I'm sure this is when I should get all retrospective and start spouting great philosophy about life and all that, but all I can come up with is:

YAY!

That's just a reflexive reaction of course, to the end of the year. I'm sure I'll be bored brainless n start missing my friends before even a quarter of the summer is gone. Most of them are going to various exotic summer retreats, leaving me to fry in the Chennai summer heat :'( Waaah! Not fair!

To think about it, the year hasn't been such a trial that I feel relieved that the summer holidays are here.

Well, college was... not anything unexpected. Probably because I didn't really have any expectations. I've enjoyed my course... in a relative way, as compared to school. Lit hasn't been a disappointment though I think the more interesting papers are in the next four sems. I can't really say if I've learned anything new, though. Hmm.

As for other fun stuff. Well I've made some awesome friends, learned a lot of things about people in general and also about myself. That sounds kinda corny but it's true. I can claim confidently that I've learned a LOT, apart from academics. (I'm not going to share the little pearls of wisdom with the world. I'm greedy, gonna hoard them all.) I'll just say that it's been good. I've found some new friends, lost some old ones. I've met a lot of interesting people and best of all, I've discovered the joys of blogging! It's like a world of its own, all by itself.

So thanks people, for both putting up with me, reading and commenting on my blog and also for giving me so much to read about.

Guess this entry has turned out to be for all my fellow bloggers!

Weird...

HEHEHEHEHEHE!

HAHAHAHA!

Ahem... For those of you who were frightened by the insane sound of laughter, I apologise. For those of you who were only mildly surprises/leaning towards irritation, well... Sorry again. That wasn't me laughing. Or rather, not the usual me. Now listen closely. Hear that mad laugh again? See! That wasn't me! I'm innocent.

That was this boring, uptight, librarian-types person in me. I call her Ms. Perfect. Not that she's perfect or anything. She just likes perfection. She likes to see everything in perfect order. And for this reason, she absolutely detests me! Why, you ask? Well, picture this scene. She's humming away to herself, thinking about life and how things are so--well--perfect. Then, I walk into my room and she starts screaming! She says, look at that mess! Pick up those clothes! Arrange those books! Cover the computer! Put away those cd's! Put all those loose scarps of paper in the dustbin. Speaking of which, eeks! Empty your dustbin for pete's--or anyone else's--sake! Now this is all pretty uncomfortable for me, especially since, if you remember, she's saying this a few hundred decibels higher than normal speech. Shrieking, basically. And in my head, to boot! Actually, I don't get what all the screaming is about. She sees the same mess everyday. It's not like it's surprising or anything!

Anyway, me, I don't bother with her rants and raves. I lie down, pick up a book, blast some music (which also drowns out her voice). It's not easy living with her. She has a similar fit every time she sees my bag, which has some very interesting things in it. Well, not so interesting, come to think of it. What I mean is that, my bag usually contains, besides books, pens, and other college-related paraphrenelia, some very interesting answer papers, in terms of irrelevant-crapping creativity. However, these remarkable pieces of illiterature are soon beaten to pulp and lie at the bottom of my bag, doomed to eternal indecipherability. Well, whatever it is, they basically give this woman--Ms Perfect--the creeps.

And let me not even get started on how she reacts when she sees my stalwart charger, best friend and general means of transportation, my bike. (Well, to be precise, it's a scooter but then--shoo! Sorry, that was Ms Perfect taking over for a moment. :D ) Well, where was I? Oh yes, my BIKE, covered in dust, water stains and blessings from my dear avian friends who surround my dwelling place. Well, even I admit it's not a pretty sight and I'm too darned lazy to wash it!

All right, I see now that in my usual scatter-brained way, I have meandered and wandered far from my original sentence. Which was--reading back and counting the number of ha's--HAHAHAHA!

Yes, that was Ms Perfect, for once sounding merry... well, more like insane actually. But before I digress even furthur, I'll tell you why. She's happy. And why? Because she just woke up and saw my blog (a little frown and a "hmph" of irritation from her at the way I began the sentence--the whole because because is a conjunction bit, but who cares?) Well anyway, she saw how I'd beautifully organised my links and all that. I mean, separated my general favourites from the more literary kinda stuff. And, gasp! Arranged the links in alphabetical order instead of the usual haphazard first-come last-appearance order. Yes, she's happy today.

OH! Heaven save me! Now she's getting vague notions about getting me to clean my room, clear my bag, wash my bike and organise my computer! What have I done?!

NOTE: No, I do not suffer from Multiple Personality Disorder. No, I am not ashamed of being a slob--too lazy for that. And no! I did not write the post dots and dashes--it was her, I tell you, her!

Idle Thoughts Vol. II

Some random thoughts that seemed to be fighting to get out of my head. What better way than to put them down in my blog?

The blank page can be pretty intimidating. Sometimes, I just sit with a blank page in my hand and keep staring, willing my mind to stop wandering and focus on forming thoughts, words, sentences that make sense.

Sometimes there are people screaming in my head. They seem to be trying to get my attention. I start suspecting that I'm going mad, then realise with a jolt that the voices aren't in my head but people around me. And yes, they are trying to get my non-existent attention.

Relationships are funny. Sometimes you try not to say something that you know the other person wouldn't like to hear, skirt around any such subject and end up saying the thing that would irritate that person most, thinking it's the best thing to say. And in the end, you realise that the thing you were avoiding was what the person wanted to hear most.

Life is all about conflict. We are always in conflict with something or the other. Starting from nature, to the government, authority, enemies, rivals and friends, it is impossible to find someone who doesn't face conflict. If anyone manages to avoid these things, by some miracle, they will most probably find themselves in conflict with themselves.

When I don't sleep well some times, I hear voices and arguments in my head the whole of the next day. Is this because I'm mad--a distinct possibily--or is it just half-forgotten dialogues from movies and books that my mind remembers due to some subconscious crap? I think this is possible to because last time the whole Marvin and the Mattress scene from somewhere in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy ran through my head. The matress even flooped and all that.

Weird... But hey! Dain bramaged... That's me!