Falling in love...
I think the experience has been so publicized and romanticized by everything from poems to movies to novels to endless discussions that we often forget or never realise that falling in love is something so... full of freedom.
I don't mean falling in love sets you free. I mean falling in love itself defies any fetters and is open to everything. Why is falling in love immediately associated with a member of the opposite (or same) sex? Admitted, it's also often the case that we say "I fell in love with that song/painting/poem!" But I believe falling in love can go even beyond that--you can fall in love with a moment or a person in a particular moment, after which you may not be in love with them. You can fall in love with a certain emotion or a particular piece of stone or... anything! You can fall in love with a person who may or may not even exist, as in the case of this poem (which I've fallen in love with.)
And that moment is as beautiful and memorable as falling in love with a person is. Every time you recall the moment, you feel the warmth and the sheer thrill all over again. Would it be too weird if I said that there is a certain almost... sexual satisfaction in it? The moment doesn't happen a lot but it does take your breath away when it does, cliche as that sounds!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Why so serious?
It's now that time of the year when I spread some cheer... In the following blog entry, I will radiate optimism and goodwill, enough to put Murphy to shame. So here we go... stuff people won't tell you but I, your best friend, cheerfully reveal... Enjoy!
The fact is:
That thing you’re waiting for so desperately? It’s never going to happen. And even if it does, it’ll never be as great as you imagined it would be.
At the end of the day, everyone is a loser. You might feel good, clever… on top of the world sometime or the other. But you truly are a loser when it’s all said and done. But don’t worry, you have lots of company. As I said, EVERYONE is a loser.
Love doesn’t last. You have to keep renewing it and sometimes you don’t feel like it so it slips away then and may never come back. That’s why humans look for it… because we seem addicted to the futility of it.
You will stub your toe. Again and again and again. Each time it will be the same I-can’t-even-swear kind of agony.
Things keep changing… The bad may change to the good, yes, but don’t fool yourself. The bad’s going to come back and bite you in your behind.
Bad things definitely happen to good people. So unless you can’t help being “good”, why try?
Every time you finally forget that tune that’s stuck in your head, someone is going to hum it. Killing that person, unfortunately, will not change the fact that it’s stuck in your head once again.
You WILL do that one thing you swore you’d never do. What’s more, you’ll enjoy it and then hate yourself for it.
Fairy tales have magic, and happy endings, for a reason—to distinguish them from reality. Take the hint.
There. I'm done... Take a moment and remember to...
SMILE!
The fact is:
That thing you’re waiting for so desperately? It’s never going to happen. And even if it does, it’ll never be as great as you imagined it would be.
At the end of the day, everyone is a loser. You might feel good, clever… on top of the world sometime or the other. But you truly are a loser when it’s all said and done. But don’t worry, you have lots of company. As I said, EVERYONE is a loser.
Love doesn’t last. You have to keep renewing it and sometimes you don’t feel like it so it slips away then and may never come back. That’s why humans look for it… because we seem addicted to the futility of it.
You will stub your toe. Again and again and again. Each time it will be the same I-can’t-even-swear kind of agony.
Things keep changing… The bad may change to the good, yes, but don’t fool yourself. The bad’s going to come back and bite you in your behind.
Bad things definitely happen to good people. So unless you can’t help being “good”, why try?
Every time you finally forget that tune that’s stuck in your head, someone is going to hum it. Killing that person, unfortunately, will not change the fact that it’s stuck in your head once again.
You WILL do that one thing you swore you’d never do. What’s more, you’ll enjoy it and then hate yourself for it.
Fairy tales have magic, and happy endings, for a reason—to distinguish them from reality. Take the hint.
There. I'm done... Take a moment and remember to...
SMILE!
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
You Really KNOW You're Missing Home When...
You keep wrinkling your nose and sniffing beacuse clean air seems... wrong... somehow!
You think fondly of fights involving aruvals and kattais
You salivate at the thought of mom's pavakka which you thought you'd never touch with a stick... (Hmm, on second thought... pavakka? Ok even I'm not that desperate... yet.)
The name of a shop written in Tamil gets you as ecited as the know-it-all kid in class when he wants to answer a tough one.
You suddenly realise that the shower, not the wheel, was the greatest human invention--and the bucket, probably the most cursed!
The beach--which you visited maybe once a year back home--is suddenly the one thing that could set right every problem in your life.
You miss those chatty, know-it-all auto karans who routinely and shamelessly try to rip you off.
You watch the crappiest Tamil movies and songs in the history of mankind just so you can hear the language.
You actually honest-to-goodness DREAM of the Coovum!
You mouth the most galeejana Tamil words in your head cos you're afraid you'll forget them!
You think fondly of fights involving aruvals and kattais
You salivate at the thought of mom's pavakka which you thought you'd never touch with a stick... (Hmm, on second thought... pavakka? Ok even I'm not that desperate... yet.)
The name of a shop written in Tamil gets you as ecited as the know-it-all kid in class when he wants to answer a tough one.
You suddenly realise that the shower, not the wheel, was the greatest human invention--and the bucket, probably the most cursed!
The beach--which you visited maybe once a year back home--is suddenly the one thing that could set right every problem in your life.
You miss those chatty, know-it-all auto karans who routinely and shamelessly try to rip you off.
You watch the crappiest Tamil movies and songs in the history of mankind just so you can hear the language.
You actually honest-to-goodness DREAM of the Coovum!
You mouth the most galeejana Tamil words in your head cos you're afraid you'll forget them!
Monday, September 29, 2008
A Little Amusement...
Blog comments...
...and laptops
And finally, just cuteness...
Courtesy xkcd.com (check it out, it has some brilliant stuff)
...and laptops
And finally, just cuteness...
Courtesy xkcd.com (check it out, it has some brilliant stuff)
Thursday, September 18, 2008
A Glitch in the Brain
I always get a strange, surreal feeling when I think that the whole of my past is just memory. Every moment of pain, wonder, joy, confusion, every crush, every unforgettable feeling of knee-knocking fear, every betterfly in my stomach, every stubbed toe is now not even real or verifiable. Those moments are just grooves in a soft, easily squishable brain, folds in my cerebrum. That friend who betrayed me and who I haven't spoken to in more than a year may as well be a ghost. She exists as I saw her only in my memory. My uncle, grandmother, aunt, grandfather... even my father... are all just memories now. From a child's impressions of popcorn and poppins to a young woman's helplessness at pain suffered, these people, once easily hugged and spoken to, are just memories now.
My life so far could've been a wasteland--I'd never know if all that I've felt is real or the drug-induced hallucinations of a crazed mind. And tomorrow, my life so far could just be wiped out by a careless blow to the head and then where would I be? Where would you be?
Does this sound like pseudo-Matrix-existentialist crap? Well, once I hit the "Publish" button, how can I even be sure I wrote it?
My life so far could've been a wasteland--I'd never know if all that I've felt is real or the drug-induced hallucinations of a crazed mind. And tomorrow, my life so far could just be wiped out by a careless blow to the head and then where would I be? Where would you be?
Does this sound like pseudo-Matrix-existentialist crap? Well, once I hit the "Publish" button, how can I even be sure I wrote it?
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Random Experiences...
Moving to a new city, starting a whole new kind of life, etc., often causes the profoundest, most moving thoughts and experiences. You look back your old life, amazed at the new experiences open to you... you look with wonder at the suddenly wide horizon even as your heart swells with...
Haha, excuse me a minute. I'm laughing too hard to keep that up. Lemme tell you some of the things I've learned, said, thought and wondered about since moving into JNU:
--On the first day, after class, I went to the warden's house where I'd left my luggage, to move into the hostel. Oh, hi doggie. Er... didn't notice you there... Aw, you're a cutie pie, aren't you? Coochie coochie... Hmm your tail isn't wagging. Oh...kay... I'll just ring this bell here and wait for the warden to open the doo--oops! Ok, ok, calm down, no need to stand right next to me and bark at me. Er... nice doggie? Ok... not so nice doggie... Ok, STOP! HAAALP!
Ok, I'll admit I stopped at "Er, no," but I swear I wanted to say the rest. And he keeps asking the same question every few minutes. And no, in case your interested, he wasn't cute enough to make such a question more palatable. But he'd just had some kinda minor operation so I couldn't pound on him either. sigh. Moving on...
--Hmm ok... Can't I just give in my own, decent looking passport-sized photo for a buss-pass? All right, fine then. I'll just sit here on this dirty chair and smile at the weird looking web cam... Ah, it's done... Ok, I can wait, it's just a buss pass. La la la la... Hmm hmm hmm... Tralala--AAAARGH! No! That monster in the photo can't be me... Nooooooooooooooooo....
But, as in most of the difficult and life-changing experiences we go through, I had to accept that it was, indeed, me, and now I'm stuck with this wonderful little thing that's going to take me all over Delhi. And NO, I'M NOT SCANNING IT AND PUTTING IT UP HERE SO YOU CAN POINT AND LAUGH!
--Ah, lunch! I could dig into some roti-and-subzi, some dhaal-and-chaval now! Ah, bring it on... Now, what is that thing? Hmmm... Looks familiar! Why, it looks like a--COCKROACH!!
Suddenly, I wasn't so hungry any more...
--Ah, after a long and difficult day of walking about, it's good to kick back and relax alone in my lovely, dark, quiet room. Zzzzz... huh? wha--? Where's that barking coming from? Ooooh-kaaaay...
Sigh. Yes. I had, indeed, been alotted the room just above the warden's house and ole fluffy, my fuzzy, furry, furious feline friend was going to be my constant companion if not in full physical form, at least in voice. (Yes, yes, I know dogs are canine, not feline. But I had a nice "f" alliteration going there [You could even say I was "effing" hehe]. Plus, you know dogs hate cats and this was my sneaky, insulting, degrading revenge on ole Fluffy. Yes, I'm really that pathetic.) Perhaps I could hang outside the balcony on moonlit nights and go "Fluffy, fluffy, wherefore art thou so un-Fluffy?" (For the record, his name's really not Fluffy. That's just my pet-name for him, after his cheerful disposition [Haha, "pet"name, get it? He's a pet so... Ok, you get it.])
Ah, more adventures later. A whole lot to say about clothes turning moldy while waiting for me to wash them, walking about in a campus bigger than a small British colony and getting utterly lost, etc. What fun.
But, as in most of the difficult and life-changing experiences we go through, I had to accept that it was, indeed, me, and now I'm stuck with this wonderful little thing that's going to take me all over Delhi. And NO, I'M NOT SCANNING IT AND PUTTING IT UP HERE SO YOU CAN POINT AND LAUGH!
--Ah, lunch! I could dig into some roti-and-subzi, some dhaal-and-chaval now! Ah, bring it on... Now, what is that thing? Hmmm... Looks familiar! Why, it looks like a--COCKROACH!!
Suddenly, I wasn't so hungry any more...
--Ah, after a long and difficult day of walking about, it's good to kick back and relax alone in my lovely, dark, quiet room. Zzzzz... huh? wha--? Where's that barking coming from? Ooooh-kaaaay...
Sigh. Yes. I had, indeed, been alotted the room just above the warden's house and ole fluffy, my fuzzy, furry, furious feline friend was going to be my constant companion if not in full physical form, at least in voice. (Yes, yes, I know dogs are canine, not feline. But I had a nice "f" alliteration going there [You could even say I was "effing" hehe]. Plus, you know dogs hate cats and this was my sneaky, insulting, degrading revenge on ole Fluffy. Yes, I'm really that pathetic.) Perhaps I could hang outside the balcony on moonlit nights and go "Fluffy, fluffy, wherefore art thou so un-Fluffy?" (For the record, his name's really not Fluffy. That's just my pet-name for him, after his cheerful disposition [Haha, "pet"name, get it? He's a pet so... Ok, you get it.])
Ah, more adventures later. A whole lot to say about clothes turning moldy while waiting for me to wash them, walking about in a campus bigger than a small British colony and getting utterly lost, etc. What fun.
Saturday, August 02, 2008
Poyittu Varen...
Leaving chennai. Will be back only in December.
Time only for a quick goodbye.
Bye then.
Time only for a quick goodbye.
Bye then.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Fun Things (and Not-so-fun things) I've Learned In Recent Times
So yes, the summer has been upon us for a couple of months and, unfortunately, as summers tend to be, I have started LEARNING things. Sigh. An unfortunate side-effect of being utterly vetti I guess. It's most disappointing. I never went about arbitrarily LEARNING things when I was in college! Why should I now, when the days should be spent in decadent wastefulness? Sigh again. Anyway, here are these great lessons:
- Celebrity Crushes Are Fun!
Beside the garden variety everyday crush, which is often painful and almost always embarrassing, there is the Special Realm of the Celebrity Crush (hmm, what's with the capitals, you ask? No idea!) Now, the thing about the CC is the ridiculous ease of accessibility to the object of your interest/affection/desire/lust (ha!). One google search for certain strangely attractive cricketers and there are about a million pictures to go ga-ga over. One foray of television channels and there's Hrithik Roshan, bulging muscles, yummy eyes, cute extra digit et al! Now, a few heart aches could be caused by little factors such as... "Oh no, (dramatic hand-to-forehead) Christian Bale is married!" or "Damn that Deepika Padkone, trying to steal my guy!" or "Ah, if only my lowe wasn't straight..." But overall, your friends tease you and you grin along, safe in the knowledge that you'll never get caught in THAT trap, at least!
- It's Possible to Do a Lot of Nothing
Now this might sound like something Garfield would make up, but it's true! You can pretend to read... while doing nothing. You can pretend to watch television... while doing nothing. You can pretend to be online, doing important things... while doing nothing. Well, you get the drift! It's a glorious feeling when you look back at a long day of doing nothing. In fact, I plan to write a book about it, Doing and Nothingness. I'm sure it'll be more popular and... "experienceable" than Sartre's similar ramblings.
- The Sad Truth about People
It's a sad truth that people have an endless capacity to deceive themselves. Some (no links here, sorry :P) would even sink into melodrama and self-pity rather than admit that they might have done something wrong or work at a compromise. Ah, well, it takes all sorts of nuts to make a fruitcake.
- The Happy Truth About People
You know there's always another side to the grass but both the less green and the greener sides can be on your own lawn! Ok, ok, I'll stop talking in metaphors before you throw something at me. It's just that the happy truth about people is that PEOPLE CAN BE WONDERFUL! Sure, we're all full of faults and no way is anybody perfect but still, there are people who will understand you and respect you for what you are and bother to stick with you even when you're being a total loser or completely lame :D That's what makes the fruitcake sweet, after all! (Ok, I promise, no more cliched metaphors!)
- Being a Girl is Fun
Yes, yes, we all know it's a hard world to be a woman in. Men constantly come up with trivial complaints about how difficult life is for men but it's obviously just men being men. It's often the case that women wish they were men but at the end of the day, I realise it's fun to be a girl! I mean, womes are so comfy in fun sleepovers where previously mentioned objects of interest/affection/desire/lust are drooled over, fashion, world affairs and everything else are discussed, clothes and weird hairstyles are tried out, crazy pictures are taken and hysterical laughter goes on for several minutes over nothing. Now, not being a man, I can't imagine what male sleepovers (sorry, is that an oxymoron? Let's call it something more MANLY... Hmm, ok BOOZE PARTY!) are like but I doubt there's any of the emotional sharing that women do. Wow, I'm being so sexist. It rocks! :D So yeah, go, girlpower!
- Coo-coo-cooking!
Ah yes, I have leanred rudimentary skills at the kitchen. Never thought the day would come when the old family joke about me having to marry a chef could be shelved. Well, I still wouldn't go THAT far but I've learned some basics. Such as how to make scrambled eggs (ahem, the broken eggs and the weird smell in the kitchen will NOT be mentioned, atomic!) and chapati and dosa and rava idli! So yes, I might survive on my own, provided there are convenient Spencer's Dailies in every corner to buy bread, idli/dosa mav and eggs from. Hehe.
Oh, there's more but all this writing really is getting in the way of my "doing nothing" campaign. So it's bye-bye for now :)
- Celebrity Crushes Are Fun!
Beside the garden variety everyday crush, which is often painful and almost always embarrassing, there is the Special Realm of the Celebrity Crush (hmm, what's with the capitals, you ask? No idea!) Now, the thing about the CC is the ridiculous ease of accessibility to the object of your interest/affection/desire/lust (ha!). One google search for certain strangely attractive cricketers and there are about a million pictures to go ga-ga over. One foray of television channels and there's Hrithik Roshan, bulging muscles, yummy eyes, cute extra digit et al! Now, a few heart aches could be caused by little factors such as... "Oh no, (dramatic hand-to-forehead) Christian Bale is married!" or "Damn that Deepika Padkone, trying to steal my guy!" or "Ah, if only my lowe wasn't straight..." But overall, your friends tease you and you grin along, safe in the knowledge that you'll never get caught in THAT trap, at least!
- It's Possible to Do a Lot of Nothing
Now this might sound like something Garfield would make up, but it's true! You can pretend to read... while doing nothing. You can pretend to watch television... while doing nothing. You can pretend to be online, doing important things... while doing nothing. Well, you get the drift! It's a glorious feeling when you look back at a long day of doing nothing. In fact, I plan to write a book about it, Doing and Nothingness. I'm sure it'll be more popular and... "experienceable" than Sartre's similar ramblings.
- The Sad Truth about People
It's a sad truth that people have an endless capacity to deceive themselves. Some (no links here, sorry :P) would even sink into melodrama and self-pity rather than admit that they might have done something wrong or work at a compromise. Ah, well, it takes all sorts of nuts to make a fruitcake.
- The Happy Truth About People
You know there's always another side to the grass but both the less green and the greener sides can be on your own lawn! Ok, ok, I'll stop talking in metaphors before you throw something at me. It's just that the happy truth about people is that PEOPLE CAN BE WONDERFUL! Sure, we're all full of faults and no way is anybody perfect but still, there are people who will understand you and respect you for what you are and bother to stick with you even when you're being a total loser or completely lame :D That's what makes the fruitcake sweet, after all! (Ok, I promise, no more cliched metaphors!)
- Being a Girl is Fun
Yes, yes, we all know it's a hard world to be a woman in. Men constantly come up with trivial complaints about how difficult life is for men but it's obviously just men being men. It's often the case that women wish they were men but at the end of the day, I realise it's fun to be a girl! I mean, womes are so comfy in fun sleepovers where previously mentioned objects of interest/affection/desire/lust are drooled over, fashion, world affairs and everything else are discussed, clothes and weird hairstyles are tried out, crazy pictures are taken and hysterical laughter goes on for several minutes over nothing. Now, not being a man, I can't imagine what male sleepovers (sorry, is that an oxymoron? Let's call it something more MANLY... Hmm, ok BOOZE PARTY!) are like but I doubt there's any of the emotional sharing that women do. Wow, I'm being so sexist. It rocks! :D So yeah, go, girlpower!
- Coo-coo-cooking!
Ah yes, I have leanred rudimentary skills at the kitchen. Never thought the day would come when the old family joke about me having to marry a chef could be shelved. Well, I still wouldn't go THAT far but I've learned some basics. Such as how to make scrambled eggs (ahem, the broken eggs and the weird smell in the kitchen will NOT be mentioned, atomic!) and chapati and dosa and rava idli! So yes, I might survive on my own, provided there are convenient Spencer's Dailies in every corner to buy bread, idli/dosa mav and eggs from. Hehe.
Oh, there's more but all this writing really is getting in the way of my "doing nothing" campaign. So it's bye-bye for now :)
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Friday, April 18, 2008
AtTAGed!
I have been tagged. Sob. Grumble. No, no, no!
Hehe, actually, I'm secretly pleased about the fact that I've been tagged... I've always wanted to be but never have :( The above is the kind of reaction that other people seem to have when tagged so I'm just trying to be all blase. But otherwise I'm happy as a clam! (Hmm... are clams really that happy? Do they just not get depressed? Even with the global warming and the water pollution n all? I see another post forming here so I'll close this paranthesis [I've been notorious for them from my very first blog post :P])
Ok... Where was I? Happy as a clam... So, thanks atomic, crazybugga!
First, the rules:
- Post the rules on your blog.
- Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
- Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
- Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
Hmmmm... There's not much people don't already know about me but here goes:
1) I'm an obsessive punctuation freak... It's a serious illness that could be fatal if allowed to develop. Wouldn't be surprised if I have to seek medical attention soon, especially due to rising blood pressure cause by reading badly punctuated blog posts (hint, hint) :D
2) I can eat any kinda food... And I mean ANY kind... I'm not even averse to trying frogs or snails or even... gasp... tomatoes! A serious foodie.
3) I like knowing how things work... Languages, machines, people, whatever.
4) I wear a belt with jeans. The stupid jean-makers seem to be incapable of making pants that fit me. Either too loose or too tight. Waaah.
5) I catch a cold overnight, every night of every week of every month of every year. These colds generally disappear in the morning about 20 minutes after waking up.
6) I love buying books... Not just reading them but BUYING them, holding them, smelling them. They can be in any state... First hand, second hand, crumbling and falling apart, pirated... It's such a rush to buy them, somehow.
Hehe, actually, I'm secretly pleased about the fact that I've been tagged... I've always wanted to be but never have :( The above is the kind of reaction that other people seem to have when tagged so I'm just trying to be all blase. But otherwise I'm happy as a clam! (Hmm... are clams really that happy? Do they just not get depressed? Even with the global warming and the water pollution n all? I see another post forming here so I'll close this paranthesis [I've been notorious for them from my very first blog post :P])
Ok... Where was I? Happy as a clam... So, thanks atomic, crazybugga!
First, the rules:
- Post the rules on your blog.
- Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
- Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
- Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.
Hmmmm... There's not much people don't already know about me but here goes:
1) I'm an obsessive punctuation freak... It's a serious illness that could be fatal if allowed to develop. Wouldn't be surprised if I have to seek medical attention soon, especially due to rising blood pressure cause by reading badly punctuated blog posts (hint, hint) :D
2) I can eat any kinda food... And I mean ANY kind... I'm not even averse to trying frogs or snails or even... gasp... tomatoes! A serious foodie.
3) I like knowing how things work... Languages, machines, people, whatever.
4) I wear a belt with jeans. The stupid jean-makers seem to be incapable of making pants that fit me. Either too loose or too tight. Waaah.
5) I catch a cold overnight, every night of every week of every month of every year. These colds generally disappear in the morning about 20 minutes after waking up.
6) I love buying books... Not just reading them but BUYING them, holding them, smelling them. They can be in any state... First hand, second hand, crumbling and falling apart, pirated... It's such a rush to buy them, somehow.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)